Banana in the Sky

Currently I am on an airplane heading to Fort Lauderdale, Florida. My girlfriend and I are going on a cruise but we have one daunting challenge ahead of us… Spirit Airlines.

I have often heard negative comments about Spirit through stand-up comedy or podcasts. Most recently Comedian John Mulaney referred to Spirit Airlines as “The Greyhound Bus of the sky”. Initially, he wasn’t far off the truth. Luckily we had paid for premiere seating which includes extra leg room with an added addition of having two seats across the isle instead of three. This was the only treat before take off. The floors of the plane were covered in wrappers and miscellaneous filth from prior flights. I could feel the grime left behind from other passengers on the seat and armrests. Although before this trip, I’ve only flown Southwest so I have higher standards.

With the copious amounts of flight anxiety I have, the only thing that might cure me is the pilot inviting me into his cabin, showing me around, and gently placing a “wings” pin on my shirt before sending me back to my seat. I always find myself eyeing up the pilot before take off. I need this soul to look like he (she) has seen some serious shit. I want a tightly pressed shirt with a dark tan and the whitest hair possible.

One positive was the flight attendants. The two men didn’t exceed expectations doing their core duties but I was pleased to get an extra 50ml bottle of “Tito’s Handmade Vodka” with my Orange Juice to create quite the powerful Screwdriver.

Which brings me to this point in time.

I look to my left and there’s a typical older couple, who bicker happily, and behind me is an even older gentleman that expressed this was his first flight in 5 years. I’ve honestly never seen it overheard someone so happy. As it appears, he’s headed to see family in Florida. What I didn’t add earlier was that we are flying out of Cleveland so I can only imagine the weight that’s being lifted off of his shoulders.

My expectations for the rest of the flight and cruise aren’t too elaborate. This is my first true vacation in over 8 years. Once this baby gently floats to the ground, I can live life to the fullest. We bought a drink package on the cruise which includes all you can drink adult beverages which is exciting, not because I recommend over drinking but I love pre-paying for things. Money is finally not an issue once we get on the prepaid, cashless boat.

As I can only hope we are approached by a group of pirates in the seas, so I can prove to everyone in my past that my childhood hope during Halloween to be a pirate is a possibility, I know we’ll have a great time, great company, and great life. I hope to update you soon.

Get out, be active and do things you wouldn’t normally do.


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